My mustache was born on August 26th, 2013; just a week and a half before I got into Divine Comedy. He just turned 1 year old, and oh what a celebration it was. I've always wanted a mustache... ever since I returned from serving an LDS mission in August 2011. I attempted to grow one, and though I thought it was cool, everyone else did not. I eventually shaved it off so that I could woo this girl, who ended up finally reciprocating my woos when I was clean shaven. (Yes, she eventually became my wife. And after 3.75 months of marriage, I began to grow a mustache once more.) Hey, I knew that she couldn't run from the horror this time, because she was already sealed to me forever. Ahahahahaha! Despite her pleas and complaints, I allowed my mustache to roam free, growing independently without restraint.
Now, if you've never grown a mustache before, then you don’t know the problems, persistence and persecution you must face. What most people do know is that some mustaches look good and some don’t. However, each mustache needs to be given sufficient time and love to one day become a magnificent piece of work. Some people don’t know that the mustache must not go through just one nasty phase, but several to receive the product that one desires. It took me a good 4 months to harvest a decent mustache. Between the time he sprouted to the time he was finally acceptable; people judged and they judged hard! I walked around campus and noticed peoples’ discriminating eyes as they viewed Salvador. At times, yes, it was hard to not look at the hideousness that festered above my upper lip, but other times I think they were just jealous. You will also receive a lot of opposition from people, especially loved ones. It’s never easy to hear your own mother tell you that “you need to shave that thing off.” But sometimes it’s even harder and more offensive when strangers tell you that you need to shave and that you are an embarrassment to humanity! That ‘aint right.
Some interesting and possibly disturbing tips that I've learned about my mustache:
- When it’s freezing outside, your breath causes ice crystals to form on your mustache and they immediately start to melt as you enter a warm building.
- When you blow your nose, the mucus acts like a natural conditioner making your mustache hairs soft and smooth.
- You know it’s time to trim when you’re sleeping and are awoken by hairs creeping into your mouth.
- Compliments, whether sincere or not, spill from many mouths on a daily basis.
- I notice other mustaches more frequently and commend those men for standing up for what they believe in.
- If you’re thinking about growing a mustache, do it. Don’t let others tell you that you’re ugly or that it doesn't look good. Give it a few months and then you yourself decide whether to keep it or not. Believe and you will achieve.
- I feel more confident as a man with Salvador at my side (on my face). But really though, I feel much more manly. A mustache is a good substitute for muscles, especially if you’re as skinny as me.
Now, I do not recommend all men to have mustaches, but I do recommend that you at least try to grow one at least once. You’ll never know that you look super good with one if you don’t try. And if you don’t like it, then you don’t like it, but if you do, then you can thank me in mustache heaven. I believe in you!!!
Bryson Alejandro Frehner
What are your thoughts? Tell me what you think. I also want to hear from the ladies. Would you want a mustachioed man in your life? Would you dare to kiss a mustache? Do tell!