1. Grab a pencil and piece of paper.
2. Settle for a pen. (Note: you don’t own any pencils. No one does.)
3. Get frustrated at how slow you are with a pen and piece of paper. Grab laptop.
4. Resist the temptation to watch YouTube videos about cats vs. cucumbers for 3 hours.
5. Begin brainstorming situations. (Ex. What would be funny at school? What would be funny at church? Etc.)
6. Write jokes for each situation.
7. Realize that you only wrote fart jokes.
8. Erase all your work…except the fart joke at church—that one was pretty good.
9. Take a cereal break.
10. Decide between Marshmallow Mateys and Grape Nuts. (Note: you will always choose Marshmallow Mateys. Stop fooling yourself.)
11. Remember you are out of milk.
12. Go back to computer.
13. Stare at the screen for 2 minutes.
14. Check your cell phone. (Note: no one has texted you. And no one wants to text you. Stop fooling yourself.)
15. Brainstorm funny characters. (Ex. Neighbor determined to share food that no one wants, An elephant civil defense lawyer, etc.)
16. Write jokes for each character.
17. Erase the swear words.
18. Realize that you’ve basically replicated Dr. Seuss characters.
19. Question how funny you really are. (Note: you aren’t that funny.)
20. Look to see what kind of jobs you can get given your experience as a self-proclaimed comedian.
(Note: summer sales.)
21. Regret trying to write comedy.
22. Contemplate how your professional and social lives are in shambles. (Note: no one dates self-proclaimed comedians.)
23. Get inspiration for a sketch that is loosely based of your personal problems. (Ex. A guy who goes to a relationship fortuneteller to tell him about his dating future. She explains that it looks bleak.)
24. Add jokes and witty social critique.
25. Watch cats vs. cucumbers.
Did we forget any tips? Comment below what gets your creative juices flowing! And don't forget to submit a sketch into our competition!