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Salvador: The Quest of Mustache and Me

10/14/2014

4 Comments

 
I just want to start off by inviting everyone who came to the October Show this last weekend to please vote for their favorite sketches that they’d like to see again at the Best Of Show at the end of the semester! We want a good diverse sample size, so please vote! *Only vote if you came to the show*  ../../vote-4-your-favorite-sketches.html

I know it might be weird or cliche that I decided to blog about mustaches. Typical, right? Yeah, yeah, whatever! Just read, enjoy, complain and then comment. I wanna know what you think. Anyways, I was conversing with a college aged man last week and he asked the following, “I noticed that the angel guy on the logo on the back of your shirts has a mustache. Is it like a tradition or a requirement for at least one member of Divine Comedy to have a mustache?” Quite the inquiry my good fellow. “It’s more of a coincidence,” I replied. Currently, myself and Kenny are the only members with a mustache, but we have had other mustachioed cast members in the past. And even though, Steve, the DC Angel sports a mustache, our mustaches were born before we got into the group.

My mustache was born on August 26th, 2013; just a week and a half before I got into Divine Comedy. He just turned 1 year old, and oh what a celebration it was. I've always wanted a mustache... ever since I returned from serving an LDS mission in August 2011. I attempted to grow one, and though I thought it was cool, everyone else did not. I eventually shaved it off so that I could woo this girl, who ended up finally reciprocating my woos when I was clean shaven. (Yes, she eventually became my wife. And after 3.75 months of marriage, I began to grow a mustache once more.) Hey, I knew that she couldn't run from the horror this time, because she was already sealed to me forever. Ahahahahaha! Despite her pleas and complaints, I allowed my mustache to roam free, growing independently without restraint.

Now, if you've never grown a mustache before, then you don’t know the problems, persistence and persecution you must face. What most people do know is that some mustaches look good and some don’t. However, each mustache needs to be given sufficient time and love to one day become a magnificent piece of work. Some people don’t know that the mustache must not go through just one nasty phase, but several to receive the product that one desires. It took me a good 4 months to harvest a decent mustache. Between the time he sprouted to the time he was finally acceptable; people judged and they judged hard! I walked around campus and noticed peoples’ discriminating eyes as they viewed Salvador. At times, yes, it was hard to not look at the hideousness that festered above my upper lip, but other times I think they were just jealous. You will also receive a lot of opposition from people, especially loved ones. It’s never easy to hear your own mother tell you that “you need to shave that thing off.” But sometimes it’s even harder and more offensive when strangers tell you that you need to shave and that you are an embarrassment to humanity! That ‘aint right.

Some interesting and possibly disturbing tips that I've learned about my mustache:

  1. When it’s freezing outside, your breath causes ice crystals to form on your mustache and they immediately start to melt as you enter a warm building.

  2. When you blow your nose, the mucus acts like a natural conditioner making your mustache hairs soft and smooth.

  3. You know it’s time to trim when you’re sleeping and are awoken by hairs creeping into your mouth.

  4. Compliments, whether sincere or not, spill from many mouths on a daily basis.

  5. I notice other mustaches more frequently and commend those men for standing up for what they believe in.

  6. If you’re thinking about growing a mustache, do it. Don’t let others tell you that you’re ugly or that it doesn't look good. Give it a few months and then you yourself decide whether to keep it or not. Believe and you will achieve.

  7. I feel more confident as a man with Salvador at my side (on my face). But really though, I feel much more manly. A mustache is a good substitute for muscles, especially if you’re as skinny as me.

Now, I do not recommend all men to have mustaches, but I do recommend that you at least try to grow one at least once. You’ll never know that you look super good with one if you don’t try. And if you don’t like it, then you don’t like it, but if you do, then you can thank me in mustache heaven. I believe in you!!!

Sincerely,

Bryson Alejandro Frehner

What are your thoughts? Tell me what you think. I also want to hear from the ladies. Would you want a mustachioed man in your life? Would you dare to kiss a mustache? Do tell!
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Bryson's First Mustache (Fall 2011)
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Bryson's Mustache, Salvador (Fall 2014)
4 Comments
 

Stumped 

10/9/2014

1 Comment

 
So it’s show week. 

Anyone who’s ever been in any kind of performance group (plays, musicals, singing for old folk’s homes) knows that show week is the destroyer of souls. 

My soul started out the week like this
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And then we had to be off script...
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And then Tech show. 
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And then all the assignments due post Tech show
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So, you get kinda shredded by the end of the whole mess, but the show itself more than makes up for it. You ride that adrenaline all the way through four awesome, brilliant shows. Until you realize that you have done a great deal of nothing in the past week and you stay up all Saturday night doing assignments that are due Monday. A joy.

I love the heck out of it.

But what I love even more than DC shows is a good Holiday.

I’m a hardcore decorator of things. I eat up holidays like they’re candy. So the Christmas before I turned 17 I was very busy bedecking my home in its holiday finery when down the street walk the dear young missionaries.
Sometimes missionaries are attractive.

Sometimes you’re 16 and you dig that.

And sometimes you’re wearing an extra large paint shirt with fabulous swishy pants that are, oh yes, not so artfully ripped and torn. Oh, they also smell like an old tent.

You’re a stylish lady, yes ma’am.

            Super Fly.

….Yeah, I looked like your average hobo.

The missionaries came over to say hello as I finished stringing the lights on my porch. We exchanged some witty (?) banter and I decided that it was time to check out the results of my decorating skills.

I leapt down from my porch, like a boss. Really, I leapt down like I was mighty Thor descending. A champion. I turned around and began to jog backwards to get a better look of the porch. Again, I was a winner.

A winner who had forgotten about the stump in her front yard.

A winner who jogged backward right into that stump and smacked it with all the force a backward jogger can exert.

I hit that stump. And flew. I really soared. It was probably beautiful, in the way that oil spills are beautiful. So….not.

I hit the ground and my mind went into overdrive. It supplied me with two options:
1. Stay on your back and lie there like a struggling turtle and look like an utter fool or

2. Continue with that momentum from the fall and go into a backwards somersault.

Two! Pick two m’lord!

I continued that glorious fall, rolled like the most skilled pill bug you’ve ever seen, and hopped right back up on my feet. Without missing a beat I said:
“Yep, that’s a good lookin’ house”.

Indeed. I just went on like the entire acrobatics display had never happened.

See, people like me who succeed so entirely at life know that the best way out of a humiliating situation is to ignore it.
What I didn’t realize was that in my glorious fall my awful, smelly, stained shirt betrayed me. It pulled up most of the way up my back and stayed there. My poor back had gotten rather badly scratched in the process and you could see all those cuts in their glory.

There I stood, staring jauntily at my home, shirt halfway up my back, happily ignoring my failure at life, the picture of a sane and well-adjusted high school girl.

The elders burst out laughing.

Heck, I did too; it was hilarious!

But in that moment I knew that it was never acceptable to crush on a missionary. The Lord protects His own from weirdy teens. Oh yes He does.

And that, dear friends, is where I will leave you. With the image of my poor hobo self standing in all her majesty and the knowledge that you will always be cooler than someone.

So go through this week knowing that you’re awesome.

Getitgetit!

Love from,

 Tori

Oh, and you should follow me on Instagram  @tori_pence. 
You'll get to see gems like this...

 

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Tori, that self same Christmas. Some things just don't change.
1 Comment
 

Kenny: England or Bust

10/1/2014

1 Comment

 
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Writer's block is the most unifying evil of the human race. When it's time to write, a universal phenomenon occurs: literally everything is more important. Mowing the lawn, brushing teeth, walking on hot coals, you name it. It's all more enticing and suddenly imperative.

But here I go anyway. I'm Kenny, this is my third year in DC and I am SUPER excited for our 20th anniversary this year! That's right! Twenty years of Divine Comedy! (I'm also crazy excited that it's October. Halloween folks! The stores are selling costumes and pumpkins: magical time of the year!)

I'm starting my first year as a law student at BYU, which has been kind of a crazy experience. For example, I did a rap performance with one of my professors in class today. Law school wasn't what I thought it'd be. Being in a new school situation reminds me of my very first year at BYU. I was particularly nervous because, my family being from California, I didn't know anyone else coming to BYU. It was like jumping into a void of university-ness and on-my-own experience-ness. I hadn't even met my roommate, apart from the email he sent asking me to "please switch rooms with his friend." (Great introduction right? I definitely declined.) 

Looking at this opportunity, I got a crazy idea. I decided to prank my roommate. I thought, "What if for 30 days I pretend to have an English accent, and then, on day 31, I take down the Union Jacks in my room and put up surf posters?"

Before I knew it I was practicing with my dad (an actual English native) and polishing the routine. As we were unpacking my room at Heritage Halls, my bishop walked in to introduce himself. I froze. I certainly hadn't considered all of the collateral situations my accent prank would require. Pretend to have an accent with my bishop? My professors? New friends? To pull off my practical joke I'd have to live a lie for a month. Was I ready for----

I didn't have time to decide. My dad cut my thoughts off and introduced himself in the charming Oldham accent he remembered from boyhood. "I'm Brother Baldwin. It's a pleasure."

The bishop took the bait. In a week's time, I was known all over as the English guy who plays the guitar. Before I knew it the reputation followed me everywhere. People loved to hang out. Girls seemed interested in me. People are shallow! Suddenly, because you have an accent, doors straight up open! I kid you not there was a Facebook group called "Kenneth Baldwin Rocks My Socks Off!!!" (Please don't search for it, there are pre-mustache photos on there).

When it came time to switch back to normal, I was in too deep. Even if I wanted to stop, I had faked the accent so long I could hardly control it anymore. I did my best to just let it filter out, blaming Americanisms and any accent lapse on my constant exposure to everybody else. I'm sure there were people who grew suspicious but I can only remember one time that anyone actually ever asked me if it was real. I chose a couple close friends to confide my secret in, and, since I hung out with them so often, things got easier.

It went on an entire school year. Two semesters. And on my last Sunday at school before break, my bishopric asked me to give a talk in church. The opportunity was too perfect. On the fateful Sunday I stood up and bared my scheme to the ward. When I blurted out, "I have a confession to make…" I could feel the bishop sweating behind me. (Huge confession at the pulpit = bishop's worst nightmare). But, when I said, "I never had an accent…" a hush fell over the room. I recognized angry faces, surprised faces, shocked faces… My roommates were floored. 

This is still probably one of the crazier ideas I've ever had. I must be some type of crazy. Who fakes an accent his whole freshman year at BYU?

For the record, my bishop thought it was totally awesome. He wasn't mad at all.

See you all at the show! And please, if you have any crazy things you've done, do share below to help me feel better about myself. I am evil. 

Cheers.



Check me out online!
Insta: kennethabaldwin
Twitter: @kennethabaldwin
Blog: backtobeinggentlemen.blogspot.com

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1 Comment
 

Becca/Bex/Barna-Fang

9/23/2014

18 Comments

 
In my audition piece for DC, I made fun of Mormon blog culture so I see Fate smirking down at me as it is now my charge to write the first accredited post for DC’S new blog.  But anyways, On October 10th, in theatres you can Meet the Mormons, but on that very same day, you can come to Divine Comedy’s opener and meet me!!! (Seriously I better see you there). My name is Becca but lots of people call me Bex. My family sometimes calls me Beekstar and one girl I met on a cruise was completely convinced my name was Jessica. This is my first semester at BYU and I’m so totally loving it! When I grow up I want to be an aristocrat that can sit around eating petit fours and chatting all day, but my major is Business (its good to have backup plans).  Provo, Utah is definitely different from Cincinnati, Ohio and although I miss the trees and mixed theology, I’m doing my best to drown my sorrows in In-and-Out milkshakes.  Did anyone else have trouble adjusting? Sometimes I forget I’m in Utah and get really excited when I see someone wearing a CTR ring before realizing I am no longer the 2% (#OccupyOhio). You can read more about me in my cast bio and ask any questions below in the comments! (PLEASE COMMENT…)

Speaking of teeth, I thought I’d open up our blogging era with an embarrassing story!!! Yay! Who doesn’t like laughing at others expenses? (Just keedin, but I hope you like my story anyways.) When I was about 8, I had braces on just my four front teeth, a really attractive look for an already awkward pre-tween. As it was the hip thing to do, I got colored bands around the braces, a particular time picking green and purple.  This would’ve gone by without too much notice, but it was under this color scheme, I lost my front tooth. Left with a lone front tooth and stripped of my pride, I was so embarrassed and ashamed of my teeth! (Vanity is powerful, guys.) I looked like and idiot. I have two older sisters who quite enjoyed my new look. They started calling me  “Barna-fang,” after the purple dinosaur’s inspired colors, and my single toothed status. They would chant it around the house so often, finding ways to weave it into conversations in the church lobby, or shouting it across parking lots.  It upset me so much my mother eventually banned it from the family’s vocabulary. Despite its censored status, Barna-Fang would reappear from time to time, much to my chagrin.  I’ve done my best to destroy any photographic evidence, but if anyone can track down my sisters, they might have some stashed away.  Do you guys have lovable siblings who loveably tease you? Also tell us what you want to hear from your DC cast! I love you if you took the time to read my silly writing! And I love you if you didn’t, cuz that’s the type of girl I am.  See you guys October 10th!

-Bex

Follow me on Twitter: @BexDaun

Or on Instagram:  @itsbeccasnitch

And if you comment, I might accept your facebook frand request!

And my website: www.ShamlessSelfPromotion.com (not really)


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My Siblings and me! When we were young-ins! I didn't mention my brother...but he exists too.
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A more recent picture of the kiddos (I'm the blonde)
18 Comments
 

With Divine help from Above

9/10/2014

0 Comments

 
As many may know, we had our auditions this last weekend. Auditions are always fun and it's great to see so many people muster up the courage to stand in front of a live audience and the current cast to do their best to be funny. We had 105 auditioners come out and we selected 24 to callbacks. This is never an easy task because there are so many talented people that audition, but alas, we must make a choice and we do. Callbacks are always super fun, but one of the greatest things about callbacks are the friendships that are made between the auditioners. They get the opportunity to work with one another and even though they're competing for the same thing, they can't help but enjoy each other's presence. After all, it's not every day that you're in a room full of hilarious people. 

After a long day of callbacks and after performing a live show, it came time to choose our newest Divine Comedians. This is no easy process. After many hours of deliberation and deep thought, someone suggested that we take 6. Now if you don't know, Divine Comedy has always had a cast of 10, very rarely does it go over and if it does, it's because some of the cast is graduating that following semester. However, we were only planning on taking 4. After more deliberation and people going back and forth not knowing what to do or who to choose, we all humbly knelt down on our knees in a circle and prayed to our Heavenly Father. In the prayer, we offered up a number, 5. After the amen, the room filled with the most powerful and heavenly feeling. Our hearts became full of the spirit and cascades of tears began to flow down some of our faces. Six. Everyone felt it and everyone knew it. There was indeed a spiritual confirmation about who should be in Divine Comedy. It was not us who chose the new Divine Comedians that night, it was God. There is no doubt about it; the Lord had His hand in that great decision that was made that night. And knowing that it was Him that chose these new members and not us, means that He has an even greater plan for Divine Comedy and He has an even greater plan for all of us. 

Now, without further ado, we would like to present to you the newest Divine Comedians!

Becca Daun
Brad Witbeck
Emily Hein
Kevin Baldwin
Matt Moen
Sarah Thompson
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From left: Kevin Baldwin, Sarah Thompson, Brad Witbeck, Emily Hein, Becca Daun & Matt Moen (at the bottom)
Get ready for an amazing year! You can see the new Divine Comedians at our next show on October 10th & 11th! 
0 Comments
 

    Authors

    Steve, the DC Angel, has overseen Divine Comedy since it's birth 20 years ago. He is usually a quiet fellow, but he enjoys sharing his stories with others, especially you!

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